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Simone Says: It seems that in recent years “sexual exhibitionism”, as I like to call it, has become quite trendy. First there was Pamela Anderson and her raunchy home sex video with Tommy Lee which was “leaked” online, then Paris Hilton who springboarded her career from similar fodder. And then there’s Paris’ new Best Friend Forever (or best friends forever until Nicole Richie pops her baby out) Kim Kardashian and her sex tape which has now secured her an E! reality show.

My friend Gerrie Lim, author of In Lust We Trust: Adventures in Adult Cinema, describes sexual exhibitionism “as a reflection of modern times, since women feel empowered to express their bodies without fear or censure, or at least with the safety net of acceptability in terms of being tastefully provocative”.

So it seems that “sexual exhibitionism” has moved from a celebrity trend to a widely disseminated practice, no one is safe from their or their partner’s urges to exhibit their sex lives.

A friend of mine recently moved to work in London and has been carrying out a long-distance relationship with her long-term boyfriend, who she hopes to marry one day. The two were texting flirtatiously when my friend’s boyfriend asked her to send naked photos of herself to him via email. My friend immediately thought of young Vanessa Hudgens, star of High School Musical, whose naked images are now strewn over the internet, images which have called into question her ‘clean’ image which has been associated with the Disney brand.

My friend is a corporate high-flyer. The thought of any part of her anatomy landing on her colleagues’ desktops made her cringe. And with that, she had found that her urges to be a “sexual exhibitionist” stopped right between flirty and sometimes slightly dirty text messaging. But with sordid tapes and naked photos of teenage actresses boosting careers instead of hindering them, what’s the message being sent out to the rest of us women?

Tell us: What do you think of such “sexual exhibitionism”? Is it something we should all celebrate? Or should there be limits? What are your limits?

You can leave a comment here or e-mail us at tnpshow@sph.com.sg Don’t forget to leave us your contact details: name, age, occupation and e-mail address or telephone number.

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LETTERS VIA E-MAIL:

Personally, I think i am a sexual exhibitionist. The desire to show off my body and bedroom acts stems from the fact that I love my body and is confident of flaunting it to others.However, in Singapore, we are still deep-rooted with Asian values. So its pretty unforgiving if you were to share all these with others.

For me, the most that i would do is to video my fiancee and I and watch it at the comfort of our bedroom. If not, let’s say we were to pose some videos or photos of ours or me, its definitely cutting off the face portion.

Janine, teacher, 27yrs old

I am born and bred in Singapore. Went to local schools and graduated in one of the Arts Instuition here.

However surprisingly, I am not considered to be conservative. Unlike my other siblings, I am considered the “Black Sheep” with my liberal thoughts, and “outlandish” behaviour.To me, all form of expression is a personal choice whether or not it’s offensive to others because we all deem fit according to our own beliefs and values. Everybody’s brought up the same way in terms of value and morals, which are to respect the elders and behave morally correct which is no sex before marriage. But in the 21th century, how many are abiding such teachings?

Each and everyone of us is an individual in our own rights, especially when it comes to sexual perferences. I strongly believe we all have our little “dark fantasies and fetishes”. Part of mine includes being an “Exhibitionist” in a sexual way.

I am not sick in the mind nor am I not taught the right moral values when young. This is just another way of expressing myself, sexually. I enjoy being my own little “porn star” and I think nothing wrong of it. I am not selling my videos and photos to anybody nor am I trying to gain any notorious fame by peddling or sending it free online for viewing. My activities are limited to only people I know, who are trustworthy and understand the consequences if such details ever leak.

Such acts are not done by people who are sexually peverted or lack of self love, security or have self loathe. As long as it’s done in the right mind and the parties involved have the right amount of respect for each other.

My intention of this is to just fulfil my own fantasies, not to offend anybody around. I am not doing it publicly or openly. I may kiss my boyfriend passionately or jumping into the idea of public sex but only if there’s a high chance of not getting caught even though I know somewhere out there, there’s somebody watching. Trust me, somewhere deep inside of us, there’s a kinky side. To many it’s better to not explore because they are afraid of being judge.

Anonymous

With reference to your post about sexual exhibitionism, I wish to give my 2 cents worth.

While it might be ‘OK’ to other societies outside of Singapore, let us refer back to what happened when ‘NYP Tammy’ or ‘what’s-her-name-spg-who-posted-her-raunchy-photos-online’ hit the scenes during the previous years. It was shunned upon and these girls had gotten indecent proposals by men through their blogs. And let’s face it, even though the furor has died down, I’m sure there’s definitely hushed whispers, “Hey! It’s that girl in the sex vid!” when people who recognizes these girls in the streets. While it was a pretty bold and daring move, these girls may have forgotten that they live in Singapore, where parents, upon reading such reports, would say to their kids, “You better don’t shame the family like these girls did!”

Singapore might be a first world country but we’re pretty conservative in many areas. Even the clubbing scenes in KL and Jakarta are more raunchy then in Singapore’s popular clubs like MOS or St James. My friends who are avid clubbers also mentioned that Singapore’s clubbing scene is the most boring in Asia.

Back to sexual exhibitionism, it actually depends on the society more then anything. Again, if the society is liberal, the limit is only set to yourself. Whether you want to do it and broadcast for the whole world to see or you don’t. But if the society you live in tends to be like Singapore, then I’m sorry sister, you just have to cover your tush but maybe you can just broadcast it, limited to the 4 walls of your home of course. ;o)

Name: Ida  Age: 24  Occupation: Systems Engineer

Simone Says: As a woman who turned 13 the year the Spice Girls’ nonsensical Wannabe hit the scene, I thought that the sun shone from between the silhouettes of those crazy bandmates from London. You can imagine my joy then, when in June this year, the
girls announced their reunion tour after 10 long years of leaving the planet “girl-powerless!”

The girls’ London concert sold out in 38 seconds and the rest of their tour seems set to also sell out everywhere else. They will be playing in Shanghai, Beijing, Hong Kong and Sydney and part of me was really keen to get my own posse together and fly from
Singapore for the show.

But before forking out the dosh and waiting on lists I thought I should have a listen to see if their first single Headlines, from their reunion album, was worth all the fuss.

Somehow I think a combination of puberty, peer pressure and great marketing (the Spice Girls were put together by American Idol creator Simon Fuller) obviously distracted me from the fact that my favourite musical performers of 1998 were actually quite talentless. I dare say even Paris Hilton’s highly edited single The Stars are Blind was a better effort.

That’s just my opinion but take a listen to it yourselves at this link and let me know what you think: http://perezhilton.com/?p=7500

Tell us: What are your favourite Spice Girls memories and what do you think of their reunion and new single? You can leave a comment here or e-mail us at tnpshow@sph.com.sg Don’t forget to leave us your contact details: name, age, occupation and e-mail address or telephone number.

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LETTERS VIA E-MAIL

Hi Postwoman, Hmm my fond memory of the spice girls was singing WANNABE at the top of my voice together with my sisters…Even though the song doesn’t make much sense then (I think it doesn’t make sense to me now too hehe) but it was catchy and nice to singing along to..Anyway during that time, music world was flooded with boy bands so when Spice Girls came along it was a refreshing change. They managed to capture teen girls’ hearts everywhere with their slogan of “Girl Power” which was very empowering as all these girls have been mooning after the boy band clones for so long.

I think their reunion is their last stab at fame cause all those girls who used to adore Spice girls have grown up and maybe they might go to a Spice girls concert to relive the carefree days of their childhood.

Their latest single: Its exactly like WANNABE. No, I didn’t mean that it going to be a big hit. The song just do not make much sense to me hehe…

Name: Lizawati Taini Age: 24 Occupation: Catalog specialist

Hi! I’m so glad someone’s doing a writeup on the Spice Girls! I was such a huge fan back at the age of 11. Sporty Spice was my heroine… i dressed like her and I even got my hair cut like her.

My favourite Spice Girls memories include the time when me and 4 other friends from my primary 6 class formed ‘Sugar n Spice’ to perform to their hit ‘Stop’ for our school’s Talentime’98. We scrutinized our copies of ‘Spice Girls live in Istanbul’ and ‘Spice Girls live in Wembley’ to make sure we had the moves down pat. We took it so seriously that I even skipped tuition class to rehearse for it! (I had to face my father’s wrath after!) But it all worked out well and we clinched the 1st prize.

I have to sheepishly admit something though… I sectioned off a part of my glass display cabinet to make a ‘Spice Shrine’… it had all the Spice Girls collectibles I’d bought, all the Spice Girls gifts my friends had given me (it was really  easy for them when it came to deciding what birthday gift to get me during that time), my little Spice Girls sketch book and more… and well, 10 years on, my Spice Shrine is still there, all items still in the order that they were years ago. I guess I never took it down because I figured it’d be something entertaining to show my friends when they came over.

I’m so glad about their reunion! It’s sad they’re not coming to Chicago though (that’s where I’m studying now)… I’m very tempted to fly to New York to see them. Keeping my fingers crossed that the concert dates won’t clash with school! Alright, that’s about it, just wanted to share my story.

Shuling

My memory of the Spice Girls is that their first album was the first ever album I bought. I was around 6 or 7 then. Their songs were equal to love for me. I began to like them more and more as I grow older. I bought every of their album and Spiceworld the movie. I even started wearing platform shoes. Maybe some people may think that they can’t sing or whatever but I am really glad they are reuniting. I was hoping they would play in Singapore. Laugh at my music choice for all I care. I still love them a lot. I am currently digging my room searching for all of their albums so that I can dance along to their songs. Plus, I do like their newest single. Yay for GirlPower! =)

Name: Nazurah Age: 17 Occupation: Student

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